The Where's Waldo Guy Belongs In A Maximum Security Prison

This video gets progressively meaner with each viewing and it kills me. Death by a thousand views. Finding Waldo as a kid was a very big deal, especially on library day in elementary school when you had limited options between the one national geographic with floppy hooters on page 37-38 and a handful of Matt Christopher paperbacks

And I know a lot of people are going to be mad about this but Goosebumps can kick rocks. Never had the staying power for me like a good Matt Christopher novel. Did I enjoy the television show? Absolutely. Was I in the monthly book club? No fucking doubt about it. But when you stack the OG's up, Matt Christopher edges out GB in a judge's decision. 

And then there's Waldo. The original shady hipster. The first guy in an oversized sweater to really stand out by blending in. Wearing the winter cap regardless of temperature or circumstance. 

clue: look for the single gear bicycle

The rush to get to the Waldo book was a very real thing in my day. We're talking broken collarbones and bad beef spilling onto the recess playground, all for the right to thumb through the same book every Wednesday at 10am. It wasn't pretty but this was before wireless internet so pretty much anything was fair game when it came to entertaining kids. A ball of yarn would've sufficed for me and my 9 year old cronies. 

But we didn't need that ball of yarn. We had Waldo and it was glorious and I loved him.

That's why I'm devastated to know someone's out there willingly appropriating others' childhoods. Absolutely no one deserves such torment. 

But in the event this guy decides to haunt another children's book, may I recommend The Very Hungry Caterpillar? 

The eyebrows would make for a great photoshop

A+ eye mustaches