Here's What Iowa's Starting 5 Would Look Like If Every Player Went Home (And If We Had An NBA Team)

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So Nate just did a blog about what if NBA players had to return home and what their starting five would look like.  Curiously, Iowa was left off the list.  The level of disrespect is gross.  It could be because Iowa doesn’t have an NBA team but that can’t be it.  The only reasonable explanation is because the team would be too fucking good and everybody’s scared of us.  I mean look at that line up.  Did Iowa just win the NBA Finals and not even have a horse in the race?  I think we did.   So much hustle out there on the court.  Which of course is analyst speak for “Holy shit that’s a lot of white guys.”  That backcourt is flat out deadly.  Korver dropping bombs, Hinrich being the fearless leader he was born to be and Barnes cutting through the lane and dunking on people’s faces.  We’re a little on the small side in the paint but the downside of that is greatly diminished when you have a glue guy like Collison and a dynamic scorer like McBuckets.  Collison’s role as the glue guy can’t get lost in the shuffle.  He’s our X-Factor.  All in all, if I had to rank Iowa’s squad against the rest of the Barstool squads, we’re an easy #1.  Us against the world, as usual.  The Iowa Cornstalks are ready when it happens.

Oh and you don’t have to tell me I’m a master with Paint.  I already know.