I'm Sorry But This Is NOT My Minnesota Miracle Man. Somebody Better Teach Gordon Bombay How To Not Look Like A Total Bender Out There

What in the fucking shit is this? You can't be serious. I know that Gordon Bombay originally got his gig with the District 5 Ducks after being court ordered for drunk driving, but he must really be shit faced right now. 

I mean....buddy, c'mon. Shin pads OVER your pants? Gross. Ear cuffs still on your bucket? Disgusting. And don't even get me started on the tape job here. 

Look at that knob! And no, I'm not talking about Emilio Estevez. I'm talking about the actual knob on his stick. Just some real sloppy work with the 1.5". Yikes that is a tough look. I'll tell you what, Disney Plus. I'll come over there right now and I'll tape Emilio's twig for free for as long as you guys are filming the show. I just can't have the Minnesota Miracle Man out there looking like that. 

Emilio needs to be out there in a backwards hat, a pair of jeans, no shins, and if he's feeling a little silky then maybe I'll candy cane the twig for him. But whatever he's doing right now? It's an abomination and I simply cannot allow any of this to ever make it to final production. Gross. 

Sidenote: How lucky are all of you today? 3 blogs about the Mighty Ducks over the span of like 5 hours. Best day ever or best day ever?