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A Potentially Hazardous Mega-Asteroid Is Approaching Earth And Everyone Should Start Freaking Out

According to IGN Entertainment (that sounds reliable enough, right???): 

NASA has confirmed that an asteroid larger than the tallest man-made structure in the world is currently traveling towards Earth at a speed of almost 34,000 miles per hour.

According to International Business Times, NASA's Center for Near-Earth Object Studies (CNEOS) identified that the "potentially hazardous" asteroid could come close to intersecting with our planet's path on February 15, 2020, at 6:05 a.m. (EST).

I'll be honest - the combination of acronyms, dates, times, and numbers in the paragraphs above means that I looked at them intensely but didn't actually read or comprehend them. Instead, I focused on a few key words and have come to a conclusion:

We are definitely, 110% for sure about to go extinct. This is it and I will do no further research on the subject.

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I felt oddly calm about this in my usual selfish 'misery loves company' type way. It's not just me that's fucked, it's everyone! We're all in this together! Me & my cat Spork evaporating into the ether together, hand in paw for all eternity…

But wait…. Wha?? As I was spending my final moments scrolling Twitter I saw that the IGN story was just awful clickbait??????

Even NASA's official Center for Near Earth Object Studies called out the fake news. Yes, the asteroid will be passing by - but nearly 6M miles away which is even farther than what that other science guy above thought… 

Damn, what's a blogger to do? I don't want to clickbait & lie to anyone like IGN, but it's looking like I'll still have to pay rent next month now so… 

IT'S STILL TOTALLY HAPPENING! EVERYONE START FREAKING OUT & SHARING THIS WITH LOVED ONES! AHHH KEEP SHARING IT! MOMMA NEEDS CLICKS! HA HA AHHHHHHH!

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