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The Perfect Gift To Get Your Ex For Valentine's Day

With Valentine's Day a few days away, everyone like me, is probably scrambling to buy last minute gifts, and make last minute plans with their current significant others. That's great and sweet and all, but what if you really hate your ex?  

According to Syracuse the San Antonio zoo is running a "Cry Me A Cockroach" event this Valentine's Day, and it's more fucked up than it sounds.

You see, for just $5 you can buy a cockroach and name it after your ex. Big spenders who want to spend $25 on a revenge rat instead of flowers, can, and are encouraged to by the zoo, who will then name the animal after your ex.  This buys you entry into the "Cry Me A Cockroach" event which takes place sometime on Valentine's Day, whenever the clearly unstable zoo worker and mastermind behind this decides to giddily feed the anthropomorphic version of your ex to birds and snakes. Take that restraining orders.

But how will your ex even know you're still obsessed with them? Good question.

Involuntary singles also will receive a certificate they can send to their ex, alerting them that a cockroach named in their honor will be eaten on Valentine’s Day.

You can join a live stream with a bunch of other scorned lovers and the FBI, while smelling your ex's nightshirt here.  

For more on this and other WTF stories check out today's Hard Factor episode.