Want To Get Mad? Introducing Lily Lu And Her 9-Year-Old Tattoo Artist Daughter

Source - Maya Lu is just 9 years old, but she’s already proven herself an inking prodigy. The talented kiddo from Tengen in Southern Germany, got hold of her first tattoo gun when she was just 2, and now has her own table at her parent’s tattoo studio, Psyland 25.

“It was just as normal as painting on paper for her,” Maya’s nonbinary parent, Lily Lu, tells Jam Press.

The proud parent was Maya’s first client: When she was a baby, she scribbled on Lu’s feet with a tattoo gun. When she was younger, Lu helped her out, showing her how to use the tools of the trade. Now, Maya is fully capable of tattooing people by herself — when she wants to.

Look, there is nothing better than seeing a young person pursue their passion, especially when the parents are involved. But this? This makes me want to puke. It's not even the fact that a nine-year-old is being brainwashed into thinking tattooing is a normal hobby for people her age. It's the fact that this is the person doing the brainwashing. 

That's her mother, Lily Lu. She's an 'independent film maker' who spends her spare time tattooing eyeballs and creating videos for her YouTube channel. Most of which include suspending people from meathooks. Here's an at your own risk... 

But it gets better, she even has a cute nickname for her little Maya...Little Swastika.

“I always tell her to do whatever she feels like and go for her dreams,” says Lu, who sometimes goes by Little Swastika — a reference to the ancient symbol of good fortune, not the Nazi’s fascist appropriation of it.

The drive doesn’t strike enough to appease Lu’s friends, whom Lu says beg Maya to ink them — but she’s a fickle artist.

“My friends have asked her for a long time to get a tattoo, and I even bribed her with candy and presents, but she never felt like it, and it took years before they finally got a piece,” says Lu, adding that whether Maya is willing to work “depends on her mood.”

 Don't worry though, it's the one about good fortune, not Nazism. I guess it just blows my mind that people like this actually exist. Not only that, her daughter stinks at tattooing! Terrible!  Look at these abominations. 

At least push your kid toward something you know they can have a future in. 

I'm not a religious guy, but I'm going to say a prayer for little Maya. The odds are stacked against her but if she can somehow make it out of that house she has a chance. Who knows maybe in the next decade we'll get a tell all book. "How I Escaped A House Of Horrors: The Little Maya Story." Wild stuff.