Well I Hope You're All Happy. You've Officially Turned The Sixers Into The Monstars

You idiots. You fools. You complete and total imbeciles. 

Is this what you wanted? Is this what you were after? Because if so, then job well done. I mean I know that fans in Philly wanted this but the rest of you? Those of you who thought the Sixers should move on from Joel Embiid? Those of you who thought it was time to blow up this edition of the Sixers and start all over? Is this really what you were after?

Because all it took was the entire world, including the one right here in Philly, to turn against this team and now they have turned into the live action version of the Monstars. You had Ben Simmons putting up another triple double last night and hitting ridiculous circus shots on his way to 26/12/10. 

Paul George. Smell ya later, dink. Kawhi Leonard. Smell ya later, dink. 

You had Tobias Harris rocking the rim so hard that he set off the first earthquake in the Greater Philadelphia Area since like 2011. 

You had Josh Richardson hitting big dick shot after big dick shot. 

Matisse Thybulle solidifying himself as the best defender in the NBA, and we're not just talking about rookies here. 


And then, of course, there was Joel Embiid. His first game since telling the fans in Philly to shut the fuck up. His first game since breaking everybody's brain with a simple troll on Instagram. Simple-minded Philly fans couldn't handle the idea that somebody could give it back to them as hard as they are on players. The mainstream media was rushing to the Take Factory to start dreaming up of some idiotic trade proposals to Miami and they were already counting Embiid off of this roster by the end of the summer. And what did he go out there and do last night?

Prove that this is his city. Prove that this is where he is meant to be. Prove that he understands what it means to be a Philly athlete more than Philly fans themselves. What a night for the big fella. 26 points. A quick little scuffle with Marcus Morris. And then set up the dagger on the game with this block that made Marcus Morris never want to come back home ever again. 

Al Horford was still just whatever last night but who cares. That's a monster game out of the 5 legitimate studs on this team. You all woke up the beast and there's nothing you can do to stop it now. Tough shit for all the haters. 

And yes, I've seen the movie. I realize that the Monstars don't end up winning in the end. But guess what? The Sixers are from Philadelphia. Want to know who else is from Philly? M Night Shyamalan. And what do all M Night Shyamalan movies have? A twist at the end. So the twist this time around is that the Monstars win and they take over the world. I sure would hate to be an idiot who has to back track on the "Sixers are dead and need to blow it up" takes that have been flying around this week.