Judd Apatow Thinks I Broke Into His House And Stole All Of His Suitcases

What. The. Hell. Is. Happening. 

What a world man. I flew down to Peru in October because I've dreamed of being the Luggage Guy on The Bachelor for years now. It's all I've ever wanted and now this? Lots of things are happening all at once and I am overwhelmed. Lotta tweets happening and now Judd fucking Apatow is tagging me on Instagram making up lies that I'm a burglar of some sort. At no point did I think being the Luggage Guy would lead to Judd  Apatow taking a picture of his TV and claiming I stole a bunch of his belongings and kicked him to the curb. 

For the record I did not break into Judd's house and steal all of his suitcases. I would never do such a thing to such a comedy legend like him. I take my Luggage Guy duties very seriously and I only move luggage when I'm told to move luggage. No ifs, ands or buts about it. Stealing luggage is against the Luggage Guy Code of Honor. Holy fuck what a night.

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PS- Yes, I will do a movie called The Luggage Guy. Or I'll take a bunch of tiny luggage guy-like roles in Judd's next 50 movies. I'll sign whatever I need to sign.