A New Dinosaur Species Called The REAPER OF DEATH Has Been Discovered

(Edmonton Journal) - A fearsome lizard with a name meaning “reaper of death” is the first new tyrannosaur species to be identified in Canada in 50 years, say researchers with the University of Calgary and the Royal Tyrrell Museum.

The new species is named Thanatotheristes degrootorum, which combines the Greek word for “reaper of death” with the name of a southern Alberta couple, the DeGroots, who happened upon the fossil fragments along the shore of the Bow River west of Medicine Hat, Alta., in 2010.

Dinosaurs are so goddamn cool. I think we can all agree to that. If we can't agree then get the fuck off my blog go read about something else, I've no time for neigh sayers when it comes to dinosaurs. They've had enough bad fortune in their day to have someone dancing on their prehistoric graves with no one to stand up for them. The biggest neigh sayers of dinosaurs these days? Science nerds and their dumb dumb facts. A few years ago it was reported that tyrannosaurus rex wasn't actually giant and terrifying, nor could it roar. They said it probably had feathers and squawked like a chicken. Which is absolute horseshit. We've all seen the movies. They're both large AND in charge. They're take out a Jeep Wrangler no problem. This revisionist history on them not being terrifying is something I wont stand for. Which is why I'm happy these Canadian paleontologists are back to set the record straight with this newer, more terrifying cousin of the t-rex, aptly named THE REAPER OF DEATH. 

Reaper of Death sounds like a screamo band that opens up for Godsmack. They tour together, their merch is banned from all middle schools for being far too graphic, and they make a human sacrifice once every seven tour dates. That's what REAPER OF DEATH sounds like. For a dinosaur? Maybe the best name job since Cassius Clay renamed himself Muhammad Ali. Outstanding name, one that brings terror and respect back to the tyrannosaurus family name where it rightly belongs. I know it's a bad idea to be meddling with dinosaur DNA but I think we should have one dinosaur roaming the planet at all times to elevate some good ol' fashion fear in daily society. Sure, you heard the Reaper of Death was in Detroit yesterday but who knows where he is today. Could be anywhere. That's the kind of excitement you don't get enough of in today's overly save world. Something to consider.