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Kate Has Texted Me Saying I Should Put My Bill Nye Blog Back Up

Editors Note: I originally took down this blog because I didn't see Kate already published a blog about Bill Nye strutting his stuff on the runway. I respect the blog game and if you're beat, you're beat. She beat me to the Bill Nye blog but then texted me to put mine back up. She says to trust her. So here is my Bill Nye blog. Not a bad blog for a Friday night. Much different than Kate's too. Also, Dave always tells us not to worry about reblogs because who really cares, it's like the smallest deal that for some reason has historically always been a point of contention with comment section stoolies. But Kate insists I put mine back up, so here it is:

"Bill Nye" was trending right below "#ZillionBeers" and I thought to myself one thing and one thing only- wow, Dave is a big time ding dong brains for doubting Zillion Beers. But then I thought another thing and that was "oh my god, Bill Nye is dead!". Whenever a celebrity who has been hanging around a bit too long is trending on Twitter, it's a fair shot that they are about to become worm food. The scariest is when it's someone you aren't sure already isn't dead, the prime example being Bob Barker, of course. Every now and again you'll see his name on there and be like "damn, it was a great run Bob" and then think about all the childhood memories of being home from sick and watching Price is Right between doses of that medicine that tasted like bubble gum.

But today was not Bill's day to die. Well, I can't be too sure, there's still a little time left in the day, but he wasn't trending for that reason. Nope. Instead, it's because he's shaking his ass to Lizzo

I see you Lizzo YFB!

You know what my favorite thing about Bill Nye is? At 64 years old, he's been married once...for 7 weeks? Why? Because he married a crazy chick! From Wikipedia:

Nye married musician Blair Tindall on February 3, 2006; however, he annulled the relationship seven weeks later when the marriage license was declared invalid. In 2007, Nye obtained a restraining order against Tindall after she broke into his house and stole several items, including his laptop computer, which she used to send defamatory emails impersonating Nye, and damaged Nye's garden with herbicide. Tindall acknowledged killing the plants but denied being a threat to Nye. Nye subsequently sued Tindall for $57,000 in attorney's fees after she allegedly violated the protective order.

Yooooo, she killed his plants! I can't imagine how sad he was when he came home and saw his garden all drooped over. I'm imagining a fucking massacre unlike Bill had ever seen. Those poor tulips! The geraniums! 

And now tonight he's going to stuff Lizzo like combustion in thermonuclear supernova explosions.

Go Bill Go!