If You Don't Want To Be Sexually Harassed, Don't Wear Gray Sweats

Listen fellas, this is common knowledge. On a man, gray sweats are the ultimate thirst trap wardrobe choice. It's basically the same as when you see a woman with a low cut bedazzled bodycon dress and platform stilettos. Objectification is pretty much guaranteed. 

Today, one of my colleagues came strutting through the hallway multiple times, switching his hips in gray muthafuckin sweat pants like he was the bell of the ball. I had to say something, because, hey we're friends. 

When you're wearing those babies in the office, you make yourself a target for the ladies. He wanted to know why. I immediately blushed and instead of mentioning the phrase "dick print" I simply told him to google it. 

I said it privately but like everything here, this thing went public. 

Blattman, love you homie but you can't be out here setting traps for thirsty middle aged single women and then feel objectified when your trap actually works.