Advertisement

The Completely Tone Deaf Cleveland Browns Have Decided To Raise Their Season Ticket Prices This Year

Bold strategy, cotton. Let's see if it pays off for him.

Jimmy Haslam is an absolute moron. And I'm not calling him that today because of the obvious fact that since he took over the Browns in 2012, their record is 25-71 and have gone through 5 head coaches and 5 general managers. No, the reason why I'm calling Jimmy Haslam a moron today is because the Cleveland Browns are the laughing stock of the NFL, are coming off perhaps the most embarrassing season in NFL history, and he has decided to RAISE TICKET PRICES! 

Hold on, lemme do a quick Google search....


You have got to be kidding me. Jimmy, you are worth 2.9 BILLION dollars, what does it matter if you make an extra million here or there from ticket sales? I would think your reputation (which already stinks) with the fans is wayyyyyy more important right now than a million bucks. I know our PR team is the worst in the league, but anyone with a brain could tell you that this was going to ruffle some feathers. Like, we just had Super Bowl aspirations this year, so we all bought jerseys and shirts and hats and of course sold out your season ticket packages, and then the Browns went 6-10. You should be paying back the fans their money this year, not charging them extra.

The Browns released a statement on these raises, and they're trying their best to justify them:

Browns season ticket prices are estimated to once again remain among the four lowest of all NFL teams. The team’s season ticket prices have ranked among the four-most affordable in the league for six of the past seven seasons.

Haha, really? You think that makes me feel any better? In fact, it makes me more upset. The Browns should not be in the "four lowest" of ticket prices, they should be at the absolute bottom. Half the price of every other team in the league. I mean, what would make our tickets be of any value? The team (who plays in the beautiful Cleveland, Ohio) that has never won a Super Bowl? The team that hasn't won a playoff game since returning in 1999? We have the longest active playoff win drought in the league.....hike up those ticket costs, boys! Step right up and get your chance to see one of the 30 quarterbacks we've started in the last 20 years! Oh, and this one is great. He charges an exorbitant amount of money for a low-quality product, too.

The Browns went on to further explain this rise in prices:

Nearly 40 percent of the stadium will change by only $5 or less per game, while close to two-thirds of the stadium will be adjusted by $10 or less per game.

Okay, again, if the change is so little, why do it now? Browns fans already hate Haslam and already can't justify buying season tickets where they're charged a full game rate for PRESEASON games. Does he really need this little extra money when he has $3 billion already? 

Well, I guess someone has to pay all these ex-coaches and ex-GMs that we still owe….