Divorced Guy Goes to Jail for Burning $1 Million Rather Than Give it to His Ex-Wife

Source - A Canadian man has claimed that he burned more than one million dollars in cash in an attempt to ensure his ex-wife is unable to lay her hands on the money as part of a divorce settlement. 

Bruce McConville, 55, from Ottawa told a Superior Court judge that he burnt the money out of frustration after being told he needed to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars in child and spousal support.

The judge in his case did not believe the outlandish claims that the money had been smoked and has sentenced McConville to 30 days in jail and directed him to tell the truth as to whereabouts of the cash.

Just two years ago, McConville was even running for mayor of the Canadian capital, but his campaign failed, much like his marriage. ...

McConville has long defied a court order to file an affidavit about his finances and told the judge that the money was burned in two bonfires with $743,000 going up in smoke last September and a further $296,000 turned to ashes in December. ...

McConville told Superior Court Justice Kevin Phillips he managed to withdraw a total of $1,050,000 over the course of 25 withdrawals from six bank accounts.

He claims to have kept the receipts from the ATMs but no longer has the money. 

Before we go any further, let's acknowledge one thing. Bruce McConville's marriage might not have worked out. But there's no way a good looking guy like this will be on the market for long. Silver-haired fox. Glasses. In good shape for his age. Wears the shit out of an Oxford dress shirt. 

Grrrr. Mother may I! You ladies of Ottawa better get ready to pounce because catches like this don't hit the open market very often.

But to get to the point, if there's one thing we know about this matter of McConville vs. McConville it's that there's no way the judge hearing the case is a married man. If Justice Phillips was, he'd know that absolutely he'd be capable of setting fire to a million dollars just to spite his wife. 

Not all the time. But all the husbands. There's not one of us who, at one point or another, hasn't found himself in a marital spat where he'd give up a million bucks just to win it. Believe me, I'm grateful I have a good marriage. Much better than I deserve, to be sure. As I've said before, when the Irish Rose and I are out together people either think she's my caregiver or start checking their phones for Amber Alerts because we look like a kidnapping in progress. And fortunately, our beefs tend to be few and far between and relatively minor when they do happen. But when we're in one, if the price of poker to get my way was to drain all our accounts, pile the cash into a bonfire and light it up, you're damned right I would. At least that's how I feel in the heat of the moment. Which is to say, from the start of the argument until she makes me feel bad so I stand down, admit I'm wrong an apologize. 

I've long been a believer than no one on Earth can drive you over the edge like the people whose names appear on your tax return. No stranger. Not some guy in the next car giving your road rage. Not a terrible neighbor. Not even your boss or co-workers. There are always other places you can work. With your own family the only solutions are divorce, death, or resolving the problem. And sometimes that last solution feels like the least plausible. It happens to the best of us. So I'm sure a million dollar bonfire is in play for the worst of us.

Besides, I've seen versions of this first hand, back when I worked at the courts. For about six months I was assigned to Probate Court. And I swear I saw more than one instance where an ex-husband was so bitter about having to pay support to a woman he hated, that he'd take jail time instead. Just to spite her. True story. So while I don't agree with what Bruce did, and I don't necessarily believe he actually did it (and would love to take a shot at digging around in his backyard), I don't deny it's possible. 

Another reminder, ladies. When Bruce gets out of jail, get on that. Dreamboats in their mid-50s are hard to come by. Most of them are taken.