I Got My Nose Bitten Off By A Woman Last Night
I get myself into a lot of tricky situations. At this point you should all know that. What you probably don't know is that the majority of these tricky situations revolve around women. I've been slapped, told to fuck off, ghosted, dumped, stalked and everything in between.
Most of the time it's something I'll laugh off and tell the boys the next time I'm with them. A lot of the trouble I get myself into is usually good for a good story over a few brews, and I take pride that I can provide at least *some* entertainment for a short amount of time.
BUT - I typically try to separate church from state. I have no problem letting my idiocy leak into my (very) public job here and there so long as it provides for fodder, talking points and #content, but usually I don't want a lot of the trouble I get myself into becoming public knowledge. WITH THAT SAID - I could not WAIT to talk about this saga on Sirius this morning. Like... I am still astonished at the move this woman pulled on me last night. Just so shocked that I couldn't even get pissed off at her and by the time I had processed what happened all I could do was laugh. Oh, and she tried to do it a second time too.
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And yes, for the record, it hurt like fucking hell. Like I had to go to the bathroom to make sure my nose was still attached to my face and not a bloody mess in middle of Aberdeen Tap.
Is there a point to this story? Not really other than to let you in on the life of a short, overweight balding blogger who constantly gets himself into regrettable situations. What I would really love is to start conversation for the Radio show tomorrow where I read off the crazy shit that has happened to all you buffoons in the comment section.
If you want to hear the whole, unabridged story download the Sirius app and listen back to today's show. Oh, and tomorrow I'll also rehash the story of how porn star Brianna Frost punched me in the face at a random bar in Naperville a few years back. Tune in!