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Russia Is Trying To Take Over The Moon And Did You Know That There Was a Moon Treaty Formed Back in 1979?

russia moon

Huffington PostBecause Russia hasn’t been accused of imperial behaviour quite enough lately, Russian Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin announced on Friday that the nation plans to carve out an area of operations on the moon. According to Voice of Russia, Rogozin explained to government daily Rossiiskaya Gazeta on Friday that since Russia is “going to come to the moon forever,” it doesn’t make much sense to keep making trips back and forth. Instead, Rogozin says, Moscow will plan on establishing a permanent base on the moon, which could mean that as its sole human occupants they’d essentially be in control up there.

WikiThe Agreement Governing the Activities of States on the Moon and Other Celestial Bodies, better known as the Moon Treaty or Moon Agreement, is an international treaty that turns jurisdiction of all celestial bodies (including the orbits around such bodies) over to the international community. Thus, all activities must conform to international law (notably this includes the UN Charter). In practice it is a failed treaty since it has not been ratified by any nation which engages in self-launched manned space exploration or has plans to do so (e.g. the United States, some member states of the European Space Agency, Russian Federation, People’s Republic of China, Japan, and India) since its creation in 1979, and thus has a negligible effect on actual spaceflight. As of 2013, it has been ratified by 15 states. As of January 2013, only 15 states (Australia, Austria, Belgium, Chile, Kazakhstan, Lebanon, Mexico, Morocco, Netherlands, Pakistan, Peru, Philippines, Saudi Arabia, Turkey and Uruguay) are parties to the treaty.


First off, let’s all agree that Putin wanting to take over the Moon is just about the least surprising news headline of the day. I’d honestly be shocked if he wasn’t actively trying to take over the Moon. Probably was cackling his dick off to Russian Despicable Me and just decided he wanted it. And if anyone could make it happen, it’s him. No one’s track record on the planet screams “annex the Moon” like Putin’s (except for maybe Kim Jong, but he’d want to claim a different galaxy or some shit).

But on a more shocking note, did you know that there’s some bullshit Moon treaty out there? When I saw Putin’s story, it kinda got me thinking… what kind of lunar ownership precedent has been set? Who really owns the Moon? Gotta be us right? Finders keepers. And my research (wikipedia) could not have yielded more preposterous results. Peru thinks it has some sort of say in terms of who owns the goddamn Moon. PERU! HAHA the nerve of them down there thinking they can get a slice of our delicious moon pie. Do you even Space Race, Peru? You’ll get nothing and you’ll like it. This is a 2-man race. Always has been and always will be. If Russia wants to try to take our Moon and put a big ol’ sickle on it, we’ll just colonize Mars right in their grillpiece, declare war on the Moon, and then the entire universe will be ours.


PS – Thought it through, maybe Mexico has a legitimate claim