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30 Year Old Woman Who Hadn't Cut Her Hair Since Childhood Is Suing Walmart For $10,000, Claiming Their Shampoo Forced Her To Cut Off Her Hair


Oregon - A Portland woman whose hair had reached the small of her back since childhood is suing Walmart and a shampoo maker for $10,000, claiming her hair became so tangled after using the product that she was forced to cut most of it off. Jennifer Fahey’s suit states she bought a bottle of “Equate Everyday Clean Dandruff Shampoo” at a Portland Walmart, and on Oct. 8 her hair became irreparably tangled within seconds of massaging it into her scalp for the first time. “She was not able to remove the knots and as a result she had to cut a large portion of her hair from the top and back of her head,” states the suit, filed Monday in Multnomah County Circuit Court by Portland attorney William Ball. Ball said Fahey had to lop off a few feet of the length, leaving her with about four inches of hair. A stylist tried to fashion Fahey’s hair into a flattering cut. But Ball said his 30-year-old client is someone who identifies with long hair, and the loss was devastating. Ball said he has not yet done a chemical analysis of the remainder of the bottle’s contents, which Fahey saved to try to discover what caused the problem. Fahey’s is seeking the $10,000 for her “past, present and future physical and emotional pain and suffering, anxiety, humiliation and embarrassment, expenses for replacement hair, along with diminished and lost wages,” according to her suit. The suit also seeks the cash award for her “loss of life’s pleasures and activities.” Walmart’s website Tuesday listed a 23.7-ounce bottle of Equate for $3.44.

Ah yes. Don’t you hate when that happens? When you have that one thing you care more about in the world than anything else, then you put something from Walmart’s brand all up in and around it? No? Good. Because then you aren’t a fucking idiot like Jennifer Fahey. All she cared about in the whole wide world was her hair. Hadn’t cut it since the second world war (estimated). It was her trademark. And then what’d she do? She put knockoff brand Head and Shoulders all in it.

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Call me crazy, but if I have anything I care about, I’m not putting anything that costs 3 dollars for 2 pounds of it anywhere near it. And then she has the balls to sue the Walmart. The emotional pain and suffering and humiliation? I assume she means not because of having to cut her hair, which was long overdue, but because she was exposed as a moron. All I need to do my job is a computer and internet. This would be like me going out and buying a desktop from CVS and then putting in an AOL CD-Rom. It’s not going to get the job done.