The Chick With Three Boobs May Just Be An Internet Hoax

(NEWSER) – It was fun, or at least weird, while it lasted, but urban legends website Snopes is calling Jasmine Tridevil’s story about adding a third breast a hoax. And while Tridevil, aka Alisha Hessler, isn’t ‘fessing up, Florida’s WTSP has dug up an especially telling stolen-item report involving Hessler earlier this month at Tampa International Airport. After her bag was stolen and then recovered, airport police listed its contents as including a “3 breast prosthesis.” Hessler might be acknowledging the ruse at least subtly. She’s a massage therapist, and Snopes has found her website for “Alisha’s Golden Touch” that refers to her as a “provider of internet hoaxes since 2014″ and a “specialist in massage for three breasted women.” In an interview with the British tabloid the Sun posted today, Hessler was still sticking by her story. “This is not a fake,” she says. “I had the procedure done. If people don’t believe it, that’s up to them.” Snopes says it has reached out to Hessler, who is hoping to land a reality TV show, to clear up its questions. It speaks to one plastic surgeon who says this would have been a lengthy, hugely complicated procedure. So unless some actual third-party proof emerges, and perhaps the identity of the alleged plastic surgeon, she gets the site’s “False” label. In an earlier interview with WTSP, Hessler explained that she wouldn’t allow a close look at the extra breast because “it’s in episode six of my show.”

Alright looking back on things, we probably all should have had a little more foresight on this one. Probably should have used our brains for like 2 seconds and said “there’s no way this chick found a doctor who would give her a third tit.” But just in general, to echo the sentiments of Feits’ blog earlier: FUCK the internet. Dare I say the world wide web has fucking jumped the shark? Pranks and fakes and hoaxes are now the norm. Like what was even the point for this chick? A minuscule shred of internet fame. Look at me I have three tits! Actually no I dont it was just a hoax! Hahaha! LOL!” Congrats you dickhead. Its like the internet version of someone going “You got something on your shirt” and then when you look down they poke you in the nose and say “Made you look!” Just so pointless and disappointing for the rest of us. You got everyone excited that we lived in a world with a Total Recall Three Titted Hooker and now its just like “Nah j/k.” Fuck you, Jasmine Tridevil! Fuck you right in your normal, 2 titted chest.

PS – Sticking with a “I have three tits” hoax takes some serious fucking commitment. Imagine having to put on a 3 boob prosthesis every time you leave the house? That takes Costanza level commitment to the lie.