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Chick Spends $20,000 To Get A Third Boob So That Men Would Find Her Unattractive

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News.au – A WOMAN has spent $20,000 on surgery to get a third breast and her dream is to become a celebrity. The Florida massage therapist, who calls herself Jasmine Tridevil, said she had the surgery a few months ago. “It was really hard finding someone that would do it, too, because they’re breaking the code of ethics,” Tridevil told Real Radio 104.1. “I called like 50 or 60 doctors, nobody wanted to do it.” Last month she posted a YouTube video of herself in a bikini while Radiohead’s Creep plays in the background.  Tridevil said her extra breast felt like her other breasts, “the only difference is the nipple”, which she had to get tattooed on. The 21-year-old saved up for two years so she could have the surgery and is also paying for a film crew to follow her around. “My whole dream is to get this show on MTV,” she said. “I’m dumping every penny I have into this. If this doesn’t work, I’m through.”  Tridevil said that while she wanted fame and fortune, this was not why she had the surgery. “I got it because I wanted to make myself unattractive to men. Because I don’t want to date anymore,” she said. She has been filmed telling her parents about the third boob and they were not happy. “My mum ran out the door. She won’t talk to me. She won’t let my sister talk to me. My dad … he really isn’t happy … he is kind of ashamed of me but he accepted it,” she said.

Hey Jasmine I’m not gonna sit here and tell you three titties is a huge turn on. Every dude’s mind immediately wanders to Total Recall and Arnold and its not exactly ideal. 2 perfect tits is better than 3 weird ones.

But lets relax with all this “make myself unattractive to men.” You know how many dudes would wanna fuck a three-titted chick? Just to say they’ve fucked a three-titted chick? Its not exactly “attracted to” in the usual sense of the word. But some fame whore with three boobs isn’t going to not get attention from men. As a matter of fact, this woman is way more likely to get dudes trying to fuck her now. Before she was just an ugly chick. Now shes at least got some novelty. She’s got some do-it-for-the-story appeal. 3 tits, 2 nipples, 1 tattoo, and a partridge in a pear tree, baby.

I think if we’re being honest here, and we’re going all in on the idea of banging this freak show, the most absurd thing you could do would be the threesome double titty fuck. Right? Imagine you and your boy, standing on opposite sides, pumping opposite directions, each with a crease in between 2 boobs to bang? Like two guys using one of those giant saws to saw lumber together or two guys hammering the railroad together except you’re DP’ing a set of Triple Boobs.

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Did I take it too far? I think I took it too far. I’m sorry. Just cue the music:

PS – “My dad…he really isn’t happy” might actually be the biggest understatement that anyone from the human race has ever uttered.