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I Have Become Enraged At The Commercials

I refuse to link that commercial where everyone danced to New Orleans house music to do their taxes but that one infuriated me as well. We'll just stick with these two culprits. A few weeks ago Mr. Peanut died. Dead. We mourned as a nation. Only to have the WOOL PULLED OVER OUR EYES BY A NUT OF DECEIT. Planters trying to capitalize on the Baby Yoda craze of 2019 by introducing Baby Nut. Like we're a bunch of dumb dumbs who can't see through the stunt they're trying to pull here. Baby Nut speaks like a dolphin for reasons they didn't even consider explaining. I hate him with every ounce of my being. I hate him almost as much as I hate Hyundai.

How dare you, sirs and madams of Hyundai. What the hell was that? The whole premise of your little joke is that people from Boston - who speak the King's English, mind you - sound funny? Sorry for having character. Sorry for speaking with a flowery panache you can't find in other pockets of the country. This is the worst thing to have happened to David Ortiz in well over a year, nothing else involving him even comes particularly close. The people who created The Hopper commercial are rolling over in their respective graves right now. Hopefully these commercials can clean up their acts in the second half and can stop stumbling in front of an international audience.