In The Least Surprising News Ever, The Sixers Lose on the Road to the Worst Team in the East

The Philadelphia 76ers defensive juggernaut of a basketball team just gave up 127 points to the worst team in the East. This was a poor attempt of even looking like they gave a shit out there. What the fuck was this Jo?

Advertisement

Trae Young did whatever the fuck he wanted out there. It’s such bullshit, because I was so looking forward to a blowout win and then writing a slam piece on how it’s a joke that he’s starting over Ben in the all star game. Of course he had to go for 39 points and 18 assists with 12 and 10 of those coming in the first fucking quarter.

The defense was an absolute joke but honestly, offensively we looked fine. Two time all-star Ben Simmons did Ben Simmons things going for 31 on 67% shooting. Tobi got his, going for 21 points 9 boardsand 4 assists. Jo looks out of shape coming off of injury which is the most classic thing of all time but still went for 21 and 14. He needs to get that fucking brace off his finger though so he can shoot free throws again, going 1 of 5 is terrible, especially for an 85% free throw shooter. But the star of the night was Shake and fucking bake Milton.

What a fucking performance. It’s an absolute travesty that we wasted this in a gross loss to Atlanta but at least we saw something from Shake that we can be excited about going forward. He’s been playing great basketball since replacing the injured Josh Richardson in the lineup and should absolutely be a fixture on the bench going forward. He can shoot the fucking ball and that is not easy to come by in Sixers lineups these days. 

All in all, a horrible, horrible loss. Now let’s go do what we do best and follow it up with a huge win over the Celtics on Saturday night on national television. God I hate that I love this team.