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Culpepper County Man Awarded $5,001 For Drinking Coffee Tainted With His Coworker's Urine

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NBC Washington – A Culpeper County jury has awarded $5,001 to a man whose coffee pot was tainted with urine by a former co-worker. The verdict came in a lawsuit filed by Michael Utz against James Carroll Butler. According to court records, Butler admitted to putting his urine in Utz’s coffee pot in March 2009 when both men worked for the town of Culpeper. Butler was convicted of misdemeanor assault in May 2009. He was sentenced to a year in jail, with 11 months suspended. The jury issued its verdict in the civil case on Monday, awarding Utz $1 in compensatory damages and $5,000 in punitive damages. Utz’s lawyer, Michael Sharman, told the Star-Exponent that his client is happy about the verdict.

The classic tale of the guy so fed up with everything he just takes a piss in his coworker’s coffee pot. It’s a classic Jim/Dwight story taken to the absolute max. Disgruntled employee to the max. The guy doesn’t think of the consequences, and could not care less about them anyway. The brief amount of elation, joy, and satisfaction he got from watching his dreaded enemy drink his piss was well worth whatever the courts were going to throw his way. A year in jail (whittled down to one measly month) and a $5,001 payment. Not the worst. 5 grand can buy you a mansion out in Culpepper county. Not saying I’d chug some piss for a few Gs, but I sure as hell know a few people who would.