George RR Martin Clarifies That He Loves Boobs, Not Weiner, After South Park's Episode About Him

AV Club – Always more than happy to take away the things that you enjoy, George R.R. Martin has offered a rebuttal to the intimation made by South Park that he’s obsessed with wieners. Clevver News caught up with Martin at Comic-Con, where he was taking some much-needed downtime, and asked him what he thought of those late November episodes. And while Martin, a professed South Park fan, said he hadn’t actually watched them—though his wife and assistants have, and they remain on his TiVo waiting to wound his “sensitive soul”—he’s well aware that they portray him as an author of unlimited imagination when it comes to flaccid penises. Or, as the man who once described both the “thick and veined, with a bulbous purple head” penis of Tyrion and the “fat pink mast” of Samwell Tarly prudishly calls them, “weenies”:

I do have to say, I’ve been told that my character on South Park is obsessed about weenies. I have to deny this as a scurrilous rumor. I have nothing against weenies, weenies are fine, but I am not obsessed with weenies. I am definitely on the boobies side of the equation. They picked the wrong equation for me. Boobies, not weenies.

Does everybody hear that? The man loves boobies, OK? Not weeines. Team Boobies. Don’t worry about the fact that literally every week the TV show focuses on at least one dude – usually multiple guys – who have had their cocks chopped off. Don’t pay any attention to the fact that the phrase “stones and pillars” is mentioned twice an episode. Khaleesi hasn’t shown her tits in about 3 seasons. If George RR Martin says boobies are for him and he doesn’t like weenies then thats bottom line because George RR Martin says so.

Love him backpedaling a bit with the “not that theres anything wrong with that.” I have nothing against weenies, weenies are fine buttt uhhh yea I love tits.”

PS – Dana Ward is Giuliana Rancic 2.0. E! should just sign her now.