Dude Who Eats Pizza Every Single Day For 25 Years Gives You 5 Pointers At How To Be A Pizza King

Esquire – As the saying goes, pizza is like sex. Even if it’s bad, it’s still pizza. And just like sex, there are people out there addicted to pizza. Meet Dan Janssen, a Maryland man who has gained a minor level of fame for eating pizza every day for 25 years. In a mini-documentary produced by Vice, Janssen talks about the repercussions of his oddball diet. Here are five key lessons. 

Pizza obsession is deeper than just a food preference.
Janssen says his picky diet likely stems from a few traumatic experiences as a kid, and he’s working with a therapist to figure out his food aversion. Combine that with a vegetarian diet and a simultaneous hatred for vegetables, and you get his insistence on only eating plain cheese pizza every day.

But a weird diet won’t stop you from finding love.
The documentary introduces us to Janssen’s saintly fiancée, who puts up with his pizza diet – but certainly doesn’t like it. She encourages him to diversify his diet for the good of his health.  She’s now convinced him to drink a healthy smoothie every day for breakfast.

It will, however, make you Internet famous.
After a Vice article introduced him to the world, he’s been bombarded with emails, spokesperson offers and interview requests. He’s been dubbed the Pizza King and a “hero” to gluttons around the world.

A pizza-centric diet might not kill you. At least not quickly.
Janssen, who has diabetes, insists his diet doesn’t affect his disease and that doctors have given him a clean bill of health. His fiancée is skeptical. “We’re all gonna die,” Janssen says. “I’m gonna die with pizza in my stomach.”

You should probably still eat vegetables, though.
Janssen says he almost never touches veggies, but once ate a pizza with mushrooms on it, and it was OK. “But why would I eat a carrot when I could eat a pizza?” he said in an interview. Medical professionals can likely come up with a few reasons.

Hey Portnoy – move the fuck over bud! The Real Pizza King is here. Dude has diabetes and will probably one day die from eating pizza and just doesn’t give a fuck. “We’re all gonna die…I’m gonna die with pizza in my stomach.” I mean Dan Janssen just took the throne from William Wallace with that speech. Its an absolutely fascinating interview with a man who fucking loves pizza, hates vegetables, and won’t let anyone stop him from getting his pizza fix.

Make sure you fast forward to like 8 minutes when his fiance tries to get him to stop. Incredible stuff right there. “If I ate like an apple every day instead of food I wouldn’t have any energy.” I cannot stress enough how much I respect this guy. Fuck diabetes, fuck my fiance, fuck science, I’m gonna eat my pizza. Portnoy couldn’t last like 2 weeks eating pizza and Dan Janssen has been doing it for 25. Although I gotta be honest, it looks like he has incredibly low pizza standards. I love that he’s just a plain cheese kinda guy, but looks like a lot of frozen pizza and Digiornos and Dominos and shit. I’m sure pizza down in Maryland sucks but have some respect for yourself and for pizza, Dan.