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5 More Inductees Into The “Alltime Not Gay” Hall of Fame

So yesterday I introduced my first 10 inductees into the “Alltime Not Gay” Hall of Fame. Naturally people started chirping at me immediately with guys they said I snubbed. Well people have said many things about me, but that I’m not fair isn’t one of them.  So without further ado here are 5 more inductees into the “Alltime Not Gay” Hall of Fame.  As a sidenote, I wish we had some sort of plaque to send these guys to commemorate the occasion.

And remember these are only sports figures.

Bobby Knight

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Kind of the same thing I said about Mike Ditka yesterday. I’m not 100% sure Bobby Knight even knows what being gay means. Like I’m sure he’d say he does, but he really doesn’t.  Like I can picture him now… “Oh sure he’s gay, but he still likes girls right?”

Dale Earnhardt Sr

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Painfully straight. Just wicked fucking straight.

 

George Brett

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Anybody that can tell a 10 minute story about shitting their pants to a bunch of people he barely knows is clearly straight. I mean I’m pretty sure gayballs don’t shit their pants and if they do they definitively don’t pseudo brag about it.

Stone Cold Steve Austin

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It’s surprisingly hard for wrestlers to make the All Not Gay team because of the whole tights thing. But Stone Cold did it. The beer smashing, the middle finger, the works. He’s as hetero as they come.

David  “Boomer” Wells

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Do gay guys have nicknames?  I don’t think they do, but if they did it’s certaintly not Boomer.  Just fatzo city here. Rides motorcycles. A horrific dresser. Says he’s hungover even when he’s not. Thinks beer jokes are hilarious 100% of the time. Not a gay bone in him.