Carmelo Turns Down The Stripper Offer But Says He Hopes He Gets Free Pizza For Life

KFC7/17/2014 7:20 PM

TMZ – Stand down, strippers … Carmelo Anthony tells TMZ Sports he will NOT be taking up Scores NYC on it’s “Free Lapdances for Life” offer … though he is open to another kind of free pie. We broke the story … Scores made the generous offer to ‘Melo when he was deciding where to play next year — and said if he picked the Knicks, he’s be taken care of FOREVER. So, when we saw ‘Melo in L.A. last night after the ESPYs we had to ask if he would claim his prize — and he told us straight up,” I ain’t messin’ with that.” Of course, there’s another perk about staying in NYC — the pizza — and Anthony tells us if someone offered to hook him up with a free slice … that’s an offer he just couldn’t refuse.

Strippers vs Pizza. Who ya got? Its really an incredible debate. I mean if you asked me to list out all my favorite things in the world, strippers and pizza would both be VERY high on the list. So if you were offered this choice, which are you taking? Free lap dances for life? Or free pizza for life? Free pizza for life is obviously the more practical choice. You (probably) eat pizza more frequently than you hit the strip club. Getting free pizza a few times a week would be a real nice perk. At the same time though, I can already afford pizza. I don’t mind paying a few bucks for a slice. Whereas free lap dances are obviously more costly. Dropping 20 bucks for a few minutes is nuts. I mean if you do the math lap dances cost like 400 bucks an hour. Not too mention, thats definitely a guilty expense. The morning after the strip club when you’re chafed and broke is a real depressing moment. Not having to spend any money on that shame is pretty fuckin nice.

So its simply practical perk vs a superfluous one. What are you taking? I personally am going with free pizza. No need to worry about eating “too much pizza” since there’s no such thing. Can eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Great drunk food. Just too versatile and too delicious. Also, bear in mind that those strippers will grow to hate your guts every time you cum in your mesh shorts and don’t pay them. First few times its probably a little novelty but on the 500th lap dance when they are rubbing your boner with their butt for free, they probably get pretty fed up.

Vote 1 for you’d rather get free lap dances for life Vote 10 for free pizza for life