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Eli Manning Retirement Press Conference Superblog

So that went exactly as expected. Things kicked off with a beautiful video recapping some of Eli's biggest moments in his career.

Which actually got the unbreakable robot known as Elisha Nelson Manning to crack a bit.

Then Eli Manning got up in front of the media and read his speech impeccably like the smartest 5th grader in class presenting a book report, which was the final reminder that Eli is the most relatable 2-time Super Bowl MVP winning quarterback that earned a quarter of a billion dollars playing football that we will ever see.

Eli obviously threw a couple of trademark Manning cliches in there along with a signature Eli zing about the fans.

Before dropping an absolute MONSTER line to end the speech.

Every Giants fan with a pulse once Eli said that:

I would like to make it clear that this picture circulating around the internet is clearly a Photoshop and never ever happened!

However if it did happen, it's the closest the Chargers ever came to beating Tom Brady and Bill Belichick in the playoffs. Heyoooo

Speaking of Eli and jerseys, John Mara announced nobody will ever wear the number 10 again on the New York Football Giants.

Not only did Eli get his number retired today but I'm pretty sure he earned his pinstripes as well!

While also embracing his role as a Suburban Dad and beginning his journey to becoming a member of the Basketball Hall of Fame (we can #embracedebate on this later).

As well as maybe the Frat House Quote Board Hall of Fame

Before taking a picture with the guys that made everything possible.

As well as members of Big Blue before and during Eli's career.

Shout out to my guy DJ handling this awkward situation absolutely perfectly.

*Just keep staring straight, don't smile, but don't look sad either*

Finally I would be remiss if I didn't include Eli's famous rival in both of the Super Bowls that Eli won (along with Super Bowl MVP) for being a good sport.

#GAMERE10PECTGAME

16 seasons, 246 games, 222 consecutive starts, the 7th-most passing yards/touchdowns/completions in NFL history, 0 games missed due to injury, and 2 GIANT victories. I know he had a memeable face that made him look like a goofball. But he was our goofball that had ice pump through his veins during two magical runs that were some of the best memories I will ever have as a sports fan.

Thank you Eli.

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With that, Eli's career is officially over.

Now I'll play us out.