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We Got A New Man With A 100 Pound Scrotum

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Listen I know the world ain’t fair. I know there’s a lot of people out there with a lot of hardships. People get sick. People get hurt. Bad stuff happens to great people every day. But Christ on the Cross having a 100 pound ballsack is just the worst thing I can fucking think of. Society should band together and have a rule that anybody with a testicle the size of a boulder gets our undivided attention until they are fixed. I’m sorry for anyone that has cancer or other debilitating diseases. I’m sorry to anybody else that might have a disability or a deformity. I’m not trying to play favorites here or tell you any one ailment is worse than the other. But at the same time I’m telling you having a hundred pound nutsack is the worst thing in the world. When your balls are taking up the whole footrest on your recliner, SOMETHING needs to change. I need a doctor to offer some pro bono help. I need Oprah to pay for all this guy’s medical expenses. I need kickstarts and go fund me’s and shit. Help fix Dan Maurer’s scrotum, because we, as a people, are better than this.