If You're Not Drinking $500 Milkshakes Then You're Just Poor

(Source) — A new glamorous nightspot called The Powder Room in Hollywood, Calif., is whipping up a spiked version of the creamy classic that will cost no less than $500. Though the exact recipe for “The Velvet Goldmine” is still being refined by award-winning mixologist Adrianne Biggs, representatives of the watering hole say the shake will be “real lush and over-the-top,” combining premium spirits, premium Belgian chocolate and edible gold, and arrive garnished with a Swarovski Nirvana Montana blue crystal ring that can be kept as a souvenir. “We wanted to offer an experience where guests could take something special home with them, and it’s perfect for a bachelorette party or a special occasion,” owner John Arakaki told ABC News, likening the cocktail takeaway to the nostalgia of finding a prize in the bottom of a Cracker Jack box.

You know what someone with no class or money would say after reading this story? “Why would you need something like that”? That’s the go-to quote for poor people. See a huge house or a sick car or a 100 foot yacht? Every poor person says “Oh that’s just excessive. I wouldn’t even want that.” Well, that’s how I know you pick up scratchies you find on the street just to make sure it’s not a winner. That’s how I know you have no pride or elegance, because you don’t recognize posh when you see it. And make no mistake about it, that’s what The Velvet Goldmine is. It’s posh as fuck. Drinking that just reminds you that you’re a little better than everyone else. You walk around with your chest puffed out a little, knowing that who whole world bows down to you while you wear your complimentary Swarovski ring and drink gold, pinky out.

PS – If we’re being real a crazy expensive milkshake that comes with a ring isn’t actually a crazy expensive milkshake. It’s a higher priced than normal milkshake, and a ring.