The Best Way To Make Sure You Never Take A Penalty Again Is To Have Your Mom Chirping You In The Box
There are always going to be hockey players out there who have zero self control. Just look at a guy like Brad Marchand. He's on pace to put up his 2nd straight 100-point season, yet for some reason he's still the biggest piece of shit rat bastard on the ice on any given night. He doesn't need to play the game like a prick, but he lacks the self-control to take that aspect out of his game.
Nobody wants their son to grow up to be the next Brad Marchand, but what do you do if your kid simply can't stop taking penalties every time he touches the ice? Whether it's boarding or slew-footing or whatever, the kid takes more trips to the box than Munchtown Bob. There's seemingly no getting through to a kid like that to get him to reel in his game. Unless...unless you have his mom sitting over by the penalty box to embarrass the shit out of him every time he takes another penalty.
Annoying? Unquestionably so. Especially followed up by the cackling of the fellow hockey moms at the end. But effective? Well I'm sure if we pulled up this kid's stats at the end of the season, we'd see those PIMs come to a drastic halt. There won't be a single player out there on the ice who plays within the rules than poor Joshua over here. He'll be avoiding the box so much after this experience that even Jamie Benn would call him a prude. And that right there, my friends, is how you raise an eventual Lady Byng winner. By embarrassing the shit out of him at an early enough age that it leaves a forever lasting impact on his life. Sure, there might be a little counseling that goes along with it, but a trip to the therapist for an hour is still better than a trip to the penalty box for 2 minutes.
Sidenote: Kid should just feel lucky it was his mom doing this. I feel like a hockey dad would have a little different strategy here.