Drunk Dude Having A Threesome On His Boat Crashes Into Runway At LaGuardia Airport

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Daily MailAn amorous boat captain who had left the helm to have a drunken three-way sex escapade caused a minor security scare at New York’s La Guardia Airport on Sunday. Craig Gallo, 51, crashed his boat into the runway lights of the busy hub after descending below deck with James Benenato, 60, and Mary Ann Belson, 60. The distracted threesome met in a bar in College Point, Queens and neither of the two men had ever met Belson before. Staggeringly, the boat was left impaled on the stanchion for 30 minutes before the Port Authority arrived to investigate. A spokesman for the PA Police Department admitted that security had been breached. He said if those aboard the boat had been ‘terrorists with bad intentions, they could have easily succeeded. A spokesman for the PAPD said that before the smash, ‘a consensual three-way sex endeavor was going on. ‘There’s a moral here: If you’re feeling amorous aboard a boat, I suggest you drop your anchor before you drop your pants.’

How about Tommy Boy over here! Meeting a couple 60 year old strangers in the bar and hosting a Devil’s Three Way on his boat. Thats gotta be one of the most aggressive moves I’ve ever heard. I mean thats some genuinely friendly shit. I’m a pretty personable guy when I’m at the bar. I’ll strike up a conversation with anybody, any age. But to chat it up with Jimmy and Mary Ann and get them to your boat for an Odd Man Rush is just taking it all a step further. A massive step further.

And then I guess the icing on the cake is that you technically broke all sorts anti-terrorism laws crashing your boat into a fucking airport runway. Thats a pretty big fuckin cherry on top. Hey Craig how was last night? Pretty good. Met a 60 year old dude and a 60 year old woman at the bar, fucked them both on my boat, ended up crashing into the runway at LaGuardia and now I’m probably going to jail.

The moral of the story is either drop your anchor before you drop your pants or don’t double team a senior citizen with a random 60 year old dude you just met that night. Probably not gonna lead to anything good.