Astros Players Are Going To Apologize For Being No Good Rotten Cheaters During Spring Training


Houston Astros players are planning to apologize for the roles they played in the sign-stealing scandal once they report to spring training, owner Jim Crane revealed on Tuesday.

According to’s Alyson Footer, the expected apology comes in response to criticism that was hurled at players for not addressing the subject in a more contrite manner at the team’s FanFest event last weekend.

Jose Altuve and Alex Bregman were the two most prominent players to speak to the media at the event. Neither had much to say, though Altuve made headlines for assuring Astros fans that the team would return to the World Series. Bregman would only dismiss accusations that players wore buzzers at the plate, calling those rumors “stupid.”

So we all saw Alex Bregman come out with the most tone-deaf, contrived and quite frankly douchey statement of all time regarding the Astros sign stealing scandal last week.  Even though there’s a 99% chance he was instructed to say exactly what he said by the organization and his agents, it was still just an awful look for him.  Not once did he take a bite of humble pie and he actually made the impossible happen by looking worse after the statement than before it.

But now it looks as if Astros’ owner Jimmy Crain is going to make the team collectively apologize to the world in the coming weeks:

Will it be another canned, phony, insincere apology that shows they’re not actually sorry for being dirty cheaters and only sorry for getting caught?  Probably.  But being forced to face the music, look America in the eyes and say “I cheated” has got to be a TOUGH pill to swallow.  Like forget taking a suspension, the potential public humiliation is something I’m very here for.

Three questions though:

1. How long until this whole ordeal is forgotten?
2. How will pitchers attack Astros’ hitters moving forward? and
3. Why weren’t any players punished?

I have said it over and over again that this is the tip of the ice berg.  Carl and I have talked about the Astros cheating for legit years on Red Line Radio and now they’ve been outed.  But I do think they’re fucking around in different ways than just sign stealing.  6 months from now we might not be talking about sign stealing with the Astros or anyone else, but we might be talking about scuffing baseballs, a new undetectable steroid, or some sort of information theft that Luhnow oversaw.  Not sure what it’ll be, but I would be shocked if it’s not something.  That’s how much of a machine the Astros became as an organization over the years.

Oh, and no I don’t think there will be “street justice” with Bregman, Altuve, etc. getting plunked by pitchers non-stop.  That’s a win for them.  You don’t need to steal signs to get hit by a pitch and take a free first base.  Beat their asses on the field and impede them from making the playoffs.  That’s the best punishment the rest of the AL can hand down on Houston.

But why didn’t any players get punished?  I’m assuming the league issued a promise, either written or verbal, that said “if you rat out executives or give us information you will not be punished in any way.”  Kinda like Henry Hill when he ratted out Jimmy Conway and Paulie Cicero.  That, and the MLBPA probably protected them like crazy while the league also found difficulty in punishing players that aren’t on the Astros anymore.  Just a lot of gray area.

But I’m looking forward to Bregman and Altuve getting smacked in the face with embarrassment.  They sullied our great game and were total cockbags while doing so.  It’s going to be electrifying watching them squirm.