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Real Life, One Arm Popeye Dominating The Arm Wrestling Scene

German armwrestler Matthias Schlitte, Melbourne, Australia - 12 Jun 2014German armwrestler Matthias Schlitte, Melbourne, Australia - 12 Jun 2014

Daily MailWhen Matthais Schlitte was 16 he wandered into a bar and  discovered that he was pretty good at arm-wrestling, due to his super human arm.  Over the past decade, Schlitte has travelled the world as a professional arm wrestler, honing his highly developed limb.  The 27-year-old German’s arm measures 46cm around the forearm and has propelled him to eight national championships as well as 14 on an international level. He has even beaten a specially designed arm-wrestling robot. Schlitte’s right forearm dwarfs his ‘normal’ left arm.  He said: ‘‘Many people’s first association with arm wrestling is a beer-soaked bar-table and drunken sailors – which is completely wrong.’ Of how he began his career, he explains: ‘In 2004, a little bar in Haldensleben was looking for the strongest arm wrestler in the region – my first tournament and the beginning of my career.  ‘Without any knowledge or practise I competed in the amateur-class up to 90kg – being only 16 years old with a weight of 65kg.  ‘At first, older and more experienced fighters smiled at me for being so light-weighted, but after winning the contest the opinions changed immediately.’

Now obviously everyone’s first joke is immediately about how this guy jerks off with his right arm so much he’s got that Popeye forearm. Au contraire, my friends. I think just the opposite. If I’m Matthais Schlittle there’s no way I’m crackin stick with that bear paw. First of all my dick would look like a toothpick in the clutches of that pipe. You know those pictures of Andre The Giant holding a can of soda and it looks like a mini Coke because he’s so fucking huge? That would be my dick compared to that python. Even smaller than usual.

And secondly I’d honestly just feel like an arm that big just gives too rough of an HJ. Its like Big Poppa Pump giving you a tug job. I feel like I’d end up crushing it like Lennie crushing those rabbit heads in of Mice and Men. I’d much rather go with an awkward, lefty hand job than putting my tooth pick in the clutches of that monstrous limb.

And see this is why they pay me the big bucks. You guys automatically assume he jerks off righty and I’m telling you the reasons why he’d go south paw. Thats why I’m the blogger. Next level thinking.