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The Meet Market Breakdown - Lawyer Seeks Naughty Girl To Read His Rights

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The tradition continues after our previous breakdowns and the post outdid themselves again.

Meet Robert, a 31 year old attorney looking for love in the big apple.  The NY Post is setting him up with one of the following gals, and we’re here to help breakdown the contestants.

Meet Market - Robert will go out with one of these three girls. Who do you think he should date?

Contestant 1, Emily, 31 years oldSocial Worker.  She is: Social. “I can talk to anyone in almost any situation,” Liz says.  She wants: Someone with longtime pals. “That indicates a lot about a person,” Liz says..  Celebrity crush: Paul Rudd.  Ice cream choice: Coffee Heath Bar Crunch.  On her DVR: “The Americans”  Big picture: When Liz travels by plane or train, she prefers the window seat.

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Whoa has the post been reading my blogs? Did they throw something to work with in the mix? Loves Paul Rudd, check.  Likes heath bar toppings, check.  Quick side note, heath bars are such an anomaly, like no one is buying a heath bar candy bar but I feel like it’s a go to ice cream topping for a lot of people. Just an observation.  I think the Post is finally trying to hook our boys up with some babes and I couldn’t be happier.

Contestant 2, Beverly, 40 years oldBusiness Woman.  She is: chill. “I like a rainy day when I can stay in the house, cook and veg out on the sofa,” says Beverly.  She likes: A little vanity. “I want him to take pride in how he looks,” she notes. Pet peeves: Homebodies.  Guilty pleasure: Beverly says she needs to learn to sit still, since she always finds an excuse to travel. Not funny: Clowns are her biggest fear.

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Whoops!  Should have known better than to mess with these matchmakers.  Is business woman a job title? Is 40 the new 20?  Who knows we’re getting crazy today!  Better step up your game too because Bev ain’t dating no scrubs.  Need your game tight and line up tighter to get a piece of that action. She wants to chill at home and veg out on the couch but hates homebodies so good fucking luck figuring that one out.

Contestant 3, Victoria, 29 years oldEnglish Teacher.  She is: fun-loving. “I don’t care if we go road tripping or to random carnivals,” says Victoria.  She likes: Someone who can keep up. “A sharp and quick wit turns me on,” she explains.  Biggest flaw: She admits she can be a control freak.  Favorite game: Cards Against Humanity  Fore!: Victoria prefers doing something competitive, like mini golf.

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Post gone post.  Move over Leno, there’s nothing better than a control freak who loves carnivals to seal the deal.  She might want to get into some other competitive sports that don’t include walking a few steps and waiting a few minutes to really get the adrenaline pumping but like I always say, I’m no expert.

In conclusion Robert, finding yourself guilty and getting locked up for life seems like a good alternative