Here's a fun little fact for all you dorks back home--turns out that buckets count all the same whether you shoot from behind the line or not. I'm not much of a math guy here but 34 points seems like it's just as good as if Ben Simmons decided to chuck up 11 threes tonight and then hit a free throw. It all counts the same but the haters and the losers would have you believe that it's simply impossible for Ben Simmons to have a 34-point triple double without having a shot. But just as they oh so typically are, those dweebs have been proven dead wrong again.
They don't ask how, they ask how many. And Ben Simmons put up thirty-four, twelve and twelve. People lie, numbers don't. The numbers here say that everyone can kiss Ben Simmons' ass. 34/12/12. I get it's a career high and not a career average, but you put up those numbers and that earns you a free pass to tell everyone to suck it. Now we just have to make sure that Ben was able to hop back on the team bus before NYPD could arrest him for 1st degree murder here.
Bad, bad man.