Chinese Middle School Is Starting To Reward Best Students... With Bags of Pork

Those faces, they scream excitement. Pork for all!


In order to reward its finest students for their hard work this semester, a middle school in the Anhui city of Fuyang handed out some bags full of goodies ahead of the Chinese New Year.

Those goodies that the exemplary students could choose from were either 2.5 kg of pork or two large carps. Tough decision, we know.

The principal told reporters that this was the second year his school has encouraged and rewarded students via their stomachs. He noted that some 5,500 kg of pork was distributed to students at the end-of-semester celebration.

As everyone already knows, China... is a weird place. I genuinely have no idea what they do/what goes on over there. Are they good guys, are they bad guys? What's the beef with the NBA? Why is that wall so big? Just too many questions I have and can't be bothered to find the answers to. 

I mean, during my freshman and sophomore year of high school, I actually took a Mandarin class. Boy, oh boy, was that a mistake, I sucked at it and that was clearly reflected on the ole' report card. I'm gonna be honest here, I pretty much only see/have seen China through the lens of the Wonton Don. His videos are obviously incredible but that's all I know regarding China. So when a story like this comes across my desk, I am enthralled.

Bags of Pork. 

Yes, the one true prize that every middle school student strives for. At first, I thought this was some sort of charity thing to help those in need, but if that was the case wouldn't they just give pork to everyone? That would make the most sense, wouldn't it? So I think that these 2.5 kg of pork are just rewards for doing well. In that case, this story is Absurd with a capital A. 

Let me take you on a journey here. Close your eyes.

*11 am, Wednesday morning*

You just sat down in Ms. Johnson's seventh grade English class. 

It's a big day. It's the day you give your presentation on the class book along with the rest of the mouthbreathers. 

Spoiler alert. You nailed it. 

You're only in this class because you sandbagged your initial testing to have an easier class. 

The teacher calls on you, that bitch. You didn't wanna go first. 

You give your oddly *emotional* presentation. 

Final slide, George kills Lenny, you put on a few crocodile tears to make everyone think you're some sort of tender, emotional person yet. Riveting. Not a dry eye in the house. 

You're the only one that knows you're putting on a show. It's a goddamn presentation day, after all, pretty much the biggest days of any younglings youth.

You get your rightful applause (you worked hard for that applause, cherish the moment)

*hard slam* Ms. Johnson slams a vacuum-sealed pack of grade-A pork right on your desk.

"[insert your name here], you son of a bitch. You're perfe- ...I mean THAT was perfect." 


I mean. That would just be absurd. If I was handed a bag of pork for good grades, I'm not sure what I'd do. Especially in middle school, I'd rather be given $5 that a bag of meat. Like there's no practicality of the gift. What am I supposed to feed my family? In middle school? For sure not. 

The video of the principle just dishing out pork and cod is simply unreal. He looks like Santa Claus in all honesty. Just doling out some meats. No big deal. This story has only made my knowledge of China worse. This is such a wild move that I don't know what's next from China.