Sofia Vergara Dating Tom Cruise Again?

Page Six – Sources close to newly single Sofia Vergara are laughing over a report claiming she’s run into the arms of former flame Tom Cruise. “He’s lifted Sofia’s spirits,” a source reportedly told an Australian site after the “Modern Family” star split with Nick Loeb, adding, “She’s told Tom that he can take her out on a date. But .?.?. she wants to be wooed, and then some .?.?. There’s definitely a spark.” But a friend of the actress who briefly romanced Cruise a decade ago sniffed, “They’re not going on any dates.”

Get the fuck out of my face. If Sofia Vergara even considers dating Tom Cruise I’ll kill myself. No way that midget lunatic deserves to fuck the sexiest chick on earth. It makes sense that they once had a fling back in the day. There was a time where Tom Cruise was probably the biggest start on the planet and Sofia Vergara was just some Colombian nobody. But now shit is different. Now Tom Cruise is a complete fucking weirdo and Vergara is one of the biggest sex icons in the industry. What I’m trying to say here is Sofia Vergara would break Tom Cruise in half if she fucked him. The last couple chicks Tom Cruise was with was Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes. The whitest, plainest chicks imaginable. Wallpaper in the bedroom. Sofia would come in like a goddam tornado of tits and ass and leave Tom Cruise with his head crushed like he just went through Trial By Combat.