(Pictures Within) Brazilians Have Figured Out The Perfect Way To Get The Perfect, Sexy Tan Lines

The fashion of electrical tape bikinis has reached a new level this summer, with the advent of neon colors to replace the once-reigning black. The tape, the same ones used by electricians, now comes in hot pink, orange, green and purple. There is still blue and red, but they don’t even glow in the dark like the neon ones.

More than that, the stands of Piscinão de Ramos, in the north of Rio, also began to make men’s swim trunks. Acceptance is still low: “I do one a week in men. For women, it’s about 40 a day,” says Rayane Teixeira, a partner with Daniele Dantas at Danny Bronze Tent, who has been bonding for five years at the site.

Well, would you look at that! Electrical tape! Who would have ever thought that using some tape on your genitals and then experiencing the vitamin D rays of the sun would leave you with the perfect suntan lines? Look, suntan lines are straight-up sexy. I know it. You know. We all know it. Hell, you didn’t click on this blog for no reason.

You clicked on this blog because you knew I would have the scoop on how to achieve these sexy lines because Spring Break is just around the corner and you want people checkin out that ass and dick! I love it!

Head on down to Lowes. Ask the helpful clerk where the electrical tape is. Buy a few rolls. Have your significant other tape you the fuck up (good news about electrical tape is that it doesnt rip your pubes out).  Sit out in the sun and listen to the newest episode of Podfathers Show. When your tape has done its job, step inside and make a baby via sex.

You’re in luck because a new episode dropped today! We talked about baby showers. There’s still time to put electrical tape on your registry.