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Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher, January 13, 2020



South CarolinaA high school teacher in the Darlington County School District has been arrested for having sex with a 16-year-old student.

The teacher, Anna Elizabeth Jeanette Patton, has been charged with three crimes: sexual battery with a student 16 or 17 years of age, no aggravated force or coercion; criminal solicitation of a minor; and disseminating harmful material or exhibiting harmful performance to minors. …

According to arrest warrants obtained by the Darlington County Sheriff’s Office, the offenses came between Oct. 1 and Dec. 31 in the Lamar area.

Patton is accused of having sexual intercourse and performing oral sex on multiple occasions.

She also is accused of distributing material that depicts sexually explicit nudity to the juvenile victim through social media platforms and she “did knowling communicate with the juvenile victim … through social media and text messaging for the purpose of enticing the victim to engage in sexual activities.

“Probable cause was obtained through evidence and victim’s statements,” according to the warrants.

I don’t mean to slow down the Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher roll with a lot of insider show business BS. But just to give you a bit of a behind the scenes look at the process, we’re not even two weeks into 2020 and I’ve already got a backlog of these I’m starting to accumulate. I’ve taken a quick perusal of the ones you SSToolies have been helpful enough to send, and while some have potential, I just … well, felt it with Anna Elizabeth Jeannette Patton somehow.

It’s not just her exceptionally long, multi-syllabic, Romance novel name. Though that is a part of it. It’s her whole package. That Southern belle charm. Her insane, reckless, career suicide in the form of repeated nudes across multiple platforms. It’s hard to describe, but there’s a gentility about her method of doing the ritual mating dance of the SST that I just find endearing. Psychotic, but endearing. According to police, she’s just 22 years old. But she Sex Scandal Teachers like a much older, more experienced nob-hungry nutjob. That’s why she gets to jump the line ahead of the others in my inbox.

The Grades:
Looks: I wish there were more images available. But as mugshots go, this is like a very expensive wedding portrait. It makes her look like a sort of middle class man’s Anna Paquin, in her pre-Sookie Stackhouse days. And that is high praise from me.
Grade: B+

Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: Evidence. Nudes. Sexually explicit nudes, so I guess we can rule out tasteful, Renaissance art-type nudity. Both in texts and social media. Intercourse and oral. On multiple occasions. That’s more than some SSTs accomplish in their careers, and AEJP pulled it off before her 23rd birthday. Step it up, all you veterans.
Grade: A-


“Little girl you’re so young and pretty,
Walk with me and you can have your way,
And we’ll leave this Darlington City,
For a ride down that Dixie Highway.”
-“Darlington County” by Bruce Springsteen

Grade: A

Overall: A-. So far, with 50 weeks still to go, AEJP is the best of 2020.

Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.