By now we've all seen the goal. It will most likely be either the first or last goal featured on every Connor McDavid highlight reel from now until the rest of eternity, unless he starts to win a few Cups. Connor McNasty lulls Morgan Rielly (a top 15 defenseman in the league) to sleep at the blue line with the hesi, then he turns on the burners, dances right past him, and goes forehand-backhand-forehand on Michael Hutchinson before burying the puck top bunk and right over the glove. It was the type of goal which can only be scored by a certifiably insane person.
But what you may not have seen, or heard, is Wayne Gretzky breaking down this goal. And folks,,,,you might want to dim the lights and get a few candles going for this one because it's smooth, it's sensual, and it's about to get all sorts of erotic up in here.
That right there might be the single most important audio file in the history of hockey, and that's including "Do you believe in Miracles? YES!!!". To listen to The Great One breakdown a goal with that much detail scored by The Chosen One is just...I can't even come up with a comparable to it. Maybe like Elvis breaking down a Bieber concert? Even that seems like it doesn't do this any justice.
And what's great about this breakdown is that Gretzky is able to go into such detail about it. Because here's the thing--there have been plenty of goals scored throughout the history of the NHL that have left everybody speechless. The reason for that, however, is because there's actually no explaining how that goal was scored in the first place. Like let's take THE Ovechkin goal for example.
It's an amazing goal, don't get me wrong. And there are only a handful of people in the world who can score this goal. But there's no way you can possibly explain that goal because there's just so much going on here that was out of Ovechkin's control that you couldn't possibly recreate that goal. At least not on purpose. So your speechless because it's a goal that quite literally has zero explanation.
But the McJesus goal…
Fuck, man. It doesn't matter how many times you watch it, it's still just so absurd. And the absurdity comes from the fact that he was in control that entire time. And listening to Gretzky break it down just further proves that he's still the GOAT. Because while most of us are still trying to pick our jaws up off the floor from that goal, 99 brings up something that probably didn't even register in most of our idiot brains. That's the fact that Hutchinson catches with his right hand, which could have easily fucked this whole thing up.
If Michael Hutchinson is like the other 90% of the goalies in the league who catch with their left, chances are that McDavid just goes forehand-backhand with this finish. But instead, he realizes that Hutchinson is a righty and that he'll have that opening to bring it back to his forehand one more time for the bury. Connor McDavid's brain was able to analyze all of that in real time. Wayne Gretzky's brain was able to analyze that right now. The majority of our brains are still splattered all over the wall.
But yeah. Imagine scoring a goal and then having the greatest hockey player of all time watch your goal over and over again, and still sound like it's something he's never seen before when he's talking about it. The Greatest Of All Time and he's over there trying to figure out just how in the hell this kid is able to do the things he does on the ice without the help of either magic or alien capabilities. What a world Connor McDavid must live in.