Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher, January 9, 2020
Ohio - A $5,000 bond was issued Monday for a former Bedford High School teacher accused of having sexual relationships with two of her students.
Thirty-year-old Laura Dunker, of Bath, pleaded not guilty Monday to six counts of sexual battery and an additional charge of tampering with evidence in the Cuyahoga County Court of Common Pleas. …
According to police reports, a school resource officer was notified of a potential inappropriate relationship between a female teacher and a male student.
On Dec. 4, 2019, officials confirmed that the allegations against Dunker were credible and involved two male students. The sexual encounters allegedly began in November of 2018 and continued for a year. According to the indictment, at least three of the encounters took place at a park inside Dunker’s car, while two more occurred at Dunker’s home. She allegedly had sex with one of the students four times and the other twice.
And – According to court documents, Dunker picked up one of the students before school and had sex with him in her car. Police say two of the other alleged incidents occurred at Dunker’s home.
To be clear, I try to avoid overdoing Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher blogs, I really do. The last thing I want is to grade every, single one that comes along. Because there are so many they could supply a website dedicated to nothing but SSTs with content on a daily basis. So I try to be discriminating. To ignore the lesser ones and keep the quality up, so that this proud institution doesn’t get watered down like some recurring SNL bit that gets tedious after they go to the well way too often. (Looking at you, Family Feud sketch.)
And these high standards have already left me with a backlog, even this early in the New Year. The reason I chose Laura Dunker as opposed to the others isn’t because she’s so spectacular I couldn’t hold back. It’s just that hers is a nice, charming, sort of simple story for easing our way into 2020. In that way that you get back to the gym after the holidays and you don’t push yourself too hard too soon and maybe pull something. Then we’ll get into the heavy lifting as we roll into the middle of January. This is the way to kick off what I hope is the year GtNSST becomes the best version of itself.
The Grades:
Looks: She kind of has that self-serious look of the angry mom on the local news being interviewed at the school committee meeting who’s upset they’re teaching kids Sex Ed when they should be teaching the Ten Commandments or something. For sure she doesn’t strike me as someone pulling up to a kid’s house at 6 a.m. for an Eye Opener before work. But she’s the dictionary definition of a Cuyahoga County 5.
Grade: C-
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: Two different students. House sex. Car sex. Setting her alarm extra early so she can have car sex before morning announcements. I suppose that kid who only got it twice is wondering now why they other got it twice as much. But the good news for them both is she’ll be able to sleep in from now on. And she has all day to even the score.
Grade: A
Intangibles: “Dunker? I hardly knew her!” Meh. It’s like a Michael Scott emceeing the Dundies joke. But it’s all I got.
Grade: B-
Overall: C+. Like I said, nothing special. She’s just a solid gateway SST.
Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.dd