Venezuelan Baseball Does NOT Fuck Around When It Comes To Brawls

AY DIOS MIO! Here I was, sitting on my couch, not expecting to watch a baseball fight in the slightest, when suddenly the internet gave me a mid-winter treat! And not just any brawl, a brawl that would make Izzy Alcantara blush. Now, this may come as a surprise to most of you, but I am not fluent in Spanish. Despite that embarrassing hurdle I am ashamed to admit, I did my best to figure out what the hell caused this. From the sounds of it via Google translate these umpires had little to no control over this game from the jump. And late in this 13-1 shellacking tensions were running high, warnings had already been doled out, but it didn’t matter. Pitcher throws right behind the hitter and then pure chaos breaks out. I haven’t seen someone start chopping wood with the bat like that since Jose Offerman attacked that minor league umpire. An A+ baseball brawl no matter which way you want to slice it.

But the only thing that upsets me here is the pitcher. For hundreds of years now we’ve seen catchers have their pitcher’s back in times like this. It’s their job, even if the hitter gets a charge at the mound it’s the catcher’s duty to tail him and be one of the first people in that pig pile. You’d think in the rare time the batter does NOT charge the mound and instead takes his day out on the catcher, the pitcher would return the favor. Well, not today. This pitcher threw wildly behind this hitter and then had himself a nice stand. “Hey look, a fight. Boy oh boy do I have a great view of this action!” he thought to himself as his catcher was wearing a Louisville Slugger across his spine. Just a sad day for pitchers and catchers everywhere to see this kind of cowardice from the bump. Who knows the ripple effects this selfish act will cause on diamonds across the world. We may never see a Varitek-ARod battle again if catchers start striking and refusing to tussle on behalf of pitchers attempting to send a message.