Drunkards Beware: People Are Getting Robbed By Fake Uber Drivers In River North and Old Town

(SOURCE)

It’s been a while since Chicago police have warned people about robbery offenders who lure victims by posing as ride-hail drivers in the city’s nightlife areas.

But the criminals are back at it, according to a community alert issued by Area Central detectives late last night.

At least four victims have been robbed by bogus Uber and Lyft drivers recently in the River North and Old Town entertainment areas during overnight hours, police said in the alert.

Sounds like 2020 is the year of the scam a little bit.  First we got people siphoning $600+ to clearly foreign people via Ebay gift cards.  It’s all good though, every red blooded American knows “compliment of the season” is a standard American greeting to an employee:

And now we have Uber drivers scamming people with fake rides in the cesspool that is River North and then Chicago’s best neighborhood, Old Town.  My head is officially on a goddamn swivel.  I’m not to trust anyone for anything, until 2021.  Especially you Eddie, you dick

But truth be told be told – Yes, I’ve fallen for a scam or two in my life (fuck you Craigslist) and if Erika Nardini sends me an email like the one above, there’s a decent shot I’m falling for it too.  She’s got that amount of respect from her employees. But the people that got robbed by fake Uber drivers?  Yeah, they deserve ZERO blame.

We’ve all been there; it’s 2am at the bar, you struck out convincing the last resort 6 to come home with you even after you offered to drive her home the next morning.  “Wtf was her problem?” you ask yourself as your mind starts to wander to what kinda Mexican food you’re gonna get in the next few minutes.

And then it happens: you’re looking for your Uber on Wells Street.  You *think* the app is saying that it’s a dark blue Honda Accord and you *think* it says that the license plate number is AS40245.  You’re even squinting with one eye to get rid of your triple vision to confirm your instincts, but it’s not really working.  The Uber driver even calls you 3x to tell you exactly where he is, but you’re so drunk you could wake up in at the goddamn Brookfield Zoo using a pile of gorilla shit as a pillow and not be surprised.  It was a nice gesture for him to call, but that ain’t helping the situation here, bub.

That’s when you say “fuck it”, hang up the phone, and get in the black Hyundai Sonata parked a block down and hope you’ve hit the Uber jack pot.

But NOPE!  It’s never the correct car no matter how many times you try.  Goddamnit luck, you asshole!   And via personal history, I know that’s exactly what happened to these 4+ people that got scammed/robbed in River North and Old Town.  They just happened to have the shit luck of not only losing on a roll of Uber Roulette, but also getting into a car with armed criminals that want to take their wallets that hold a few maxed out credit cards and $14 cash.

We can laugh at people who get scammed on the internet all day long; they deserve it.  But I’ll never stoop to the level of laughing at someone for getting robbed by a fake Uber driver.  It hasn’t happened to me yet, but it’ll happen to me one day, and when it does I hope you all have the same sympathy for me as I do for these guys.