Holy Shit, The Jeopardy GOAT Tournament Is Even Better Than I Could Have Ever Imagined
Did Jeopardy do it again or did Jeopardy do it again? I'll admit that I was more excited than any human should be at the mere thought of watching three nerds battle their brains on stage. But last night’s show even surpassed my sky high expectations and was, to borrow a phrase, electric. From the fancy high octane set, to the A-list celebrity cameos, to the perfect 1st round without a missed answer, to Trebek dropping bitching, talkin' orgies, and dropping some Three 6 Mafia, to a game that had drama the entire time. Everything delivered just as we hoped it would tonight and then some in what KFC has aptly called the dunk contest for white people.
Well except for Brad, who got absolutely dog walked by the two household names in Jeopardy contestant history. I got caught in the Brad hype despite never seeing him play like a fantasy football player you read about enough to blindly use a first round pick on. Brad had beaten Jennings head-to-head and actually leads to show in all-time winnings thanks to cleaning up in some tournaments.
However, Brad was not only the weakest link, but he appeared to belong on that stage about as much as I did. It's one thing to get clowned by Trebek, who will call out any contestant that isn't carrying their weight in a normal game.
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But to get pantsed by your fellow nerd opponent on some Nelson Muntz shit while also finishing with a goose egg in a game of champions is that ether that makes your soul burn slow.
We've all been the Brad in a group of 3 people at one point in our life, which hopefully didn't happen in prime time on network TV. Regardless, we need to get Julia or Austin or Gloria from White Men Can't Jump or even fucking Watson's ol' hard drive ass in that third podium for Wednesday night. I don't give a shit if that was already taped. Brad is wasting our time and more importantly the Daily Doubles for my guy James, whose entire game is built on having bigger nuts than everyone else and betting it all on DDs. He can't do that if Brad keeps picking the Daily Doubles and getting them wrong. It would be like Steph Curry playing without a three point line.
Nonetheless, a sincere hat tip to Ken Jennings for putting on a goddamn show in Game 1 and fighting off my guy James while reintroducing himself to the world. I may be a Big Brain James stan, but I have nothing but respect to the OG viral Jeopardy champion. This song's for you, KJ.
Some other thoughts:
- Even though Ken ended up getting the W, I honestly thought we were going to lose him during Round 1 of Game 1.
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Make no mistake about it, Ken clearly stepped outside his comfort zone because he knew the guy to his right is a straight up swashbuckling gambling savage and he had to turn every Daily Double into a true Daily Double if he wanted to win, which he did tonight. Does this mean that James has made Ken a better player and maybe even a better man for having gigantic brain in his head and hanging between his legs? Perhaps. I just don't know how long Ken will be able to stomach bets like that, because he was hurtin' fo certain after that big bet.
- That being said, nothing but #RE2PECT from a fellow potential GOAT for Jennings putting his nuts on the table there.
- Playing along or trying to get answers right wasn't even an option. Those questions and the contestants not named Brad that were answering them were on such another plane of existence, I just buckled up and enjoyed the ride with a huge goofy smile on my face watching the best gameshow ever being played at its highest level and hat three rhyme category was straight up preposterous.
- You know what wasn't at its highest level? The classic Jeopardy song, which they remixed poorly. If you make a remix, you gotta use Diddy for the remix.
- Speaking of songs, I am still flabbergasted that Lunch Lady Land got a question asked about it in the GOAT Tournament. Biggest upset ever.
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- After breaking down the All-22 film of the game, I noticed James switched his name plate from a happy-go-lucky picture of cards to nothing-but-business name like Braindead Brad.
I respect the adjustments being made on the fly by BBJ once it became obvious that this wasn't a game but instead of gutter war. Hopefully he is ready to get back to the basics in Game 2 to tie things up and the Jeopardy producers stop feeding the other two the Daily Doubles.
- Yes I realize I sound like a bitter New Orleans Saints fans blaming the refs for everything. But come on, 0-for-4 for a guy that had control of the board a lot and could snipe a Daily Double from three sound stages away back when he was on his run? Seems a little fishy if you ask me. Almost, dare I say, Sternish.
- I am EXHAUSTED mentally after watching that and it was only Night 1. Quickest hour of TV ever. KFC and I talked about doing an Electric Chair for the show, but we weren't sure if it would work with the way Jeopardy is structured. But we did a postgame reaction on Instagram Live and will continue to do so for the rest of the tournament (We may try some sort of live stream if it comes down to a deciding Game 7 or something). Anyway, here is the instant reaction to Game 1.