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A Future Letter To My Dumb Knicks Fan Brain After Seeing Anthony Davis Turned Down An Extension With The Lakers To Be A Free Agent

Hey dummy, 

Yeah, you, the dummy that's going to overreact here. You know who you are. The one who is going to see one stupid photoshop of Anthony Davis in a Knicks jersey and remember that he said he had the Knicks on teams he'd sign an extension with and immediately wonder if I have to call a doctor after 4 hours. It's been 32 years as a Knicks fan, you should learn by now. 

You know why? Because James fucking Dolan is still running around with Steve Mills and that enemy isn't going anywhere. How many times are we going to do this? Don't run and grab the lube the moment you see this. People are just being mean to you and there's enough of that everywhere else in your stupid life, idiot. 

See, that's what someone is going to do to you. They are going to toy with your emotions like LeBron deciding in Connecticut and thinking he was going to be a Knick. They are going to toy with your emotions like when you heard there was a toast involving Chris Paul at a wedding and he'd be a Knick. They are going to toy with your emotions like when Kevin Durant and Kyrie were going to play and save the franchise. 

Just pull up your pants, wipe away your tears and get ready for more heartbreak. That's just how it's going to be you stupid idiot. You're not going to enjoy anything fun with the Knicks as long as James Dolan is there. He's not selling the team and his health appears to be fine. Which reminds me, go hit the bike, it's January or July when you read this again. 

Remember when you read this in June and July that this is January 7, 2020. He is going to re-sign with the Lakers. There is no hope. There is some hope (maybe) in the young roster and to keep sucking and drafting okay. There is some hope (LOL) in hiring Rick Pitino in 2021 and landing Giannis (LOL, you are so stupid). 

Just remember all of this as you are blasting Go NY Go in June. Remember Anthony Davis, as much as he loves you as a Kentucky fan, will never make you happy again. Maybe one day your son will be happy, but you will never be happy as a Knicks fan since it's not 1994 anymore. 


Early-January 2020 Reags. 

PS: Fuck LeBron and the Lakers.