Lesbian "Throuple" Expecting Their First Child

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NY Post – Here come the brides! Three Massachusetts lesbians claim they got “married” to each other and are now expecting their first child. Doll, Kitten and Brynn Young exchanged vows in a commitment ceremony last August, with all three brides wearing white and traditional wedding veils. “I cried watching Doll and Kitten walk down the aisle toward me with their dads,” Brynn told The Sun newspaper of London. “After we said our vows, Doll and Kitten kissed me first then each other.” No state in the union recognizes three-way marriages — but these women insist their unconventional union is very real to them. “In our eyes, we are married,” said Brynn, 34, a computer programmer. “We had specialist lawyers draw up paperwork so our assets are equally divided.” Brynn and Kitten were married 2½ years ago in Massachusetts, before adding Doll to their household mix. The youngest of the three, Kitten, 27, is six months pregnant via an unknown sperm donor. “The three of us have always wanted kids and wanted to grow our family,” said Kitten. “We decided that I’d be the one to carry the babies because I’d like to be a full-time [mother].” The women sleep together in the same bed, and have sex as a threesome — as well as in pairs — they told The Sun. “We all have time together but it’s also important for each pair of people to nurture their individual relationships,” said Doll, 30. But Doll admitted it could get a little too hot between the sheets. “It sometimes gets a bit too warm when you’re trying to sleep because there are three of us under the bed sheets,” she said. Each woman has her own household role. “I’m the breadwinner, as I work a 40-hour week and make the majority of the family’s income,” said Brynn, who had been married twice to women before tying the knot with Kitten. “Doll does the cooking, and Kitten does the cleaning. It works perfectly for us.”

Can’t help but get a Hocus Pocus vibe from these broads, no?

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No doubt in my mind this trio does nothing but witchcraft and scissor all day long. That one in the blue hair just trying to round up as many virgins as she can.

I legit cannot wrap my brain around how a three-woman relationship works. Relationships with one woman are a big enough disaster. One woman supplies enough hormones and emotions and irrationality to send any couple spiraling into a pit of insanity. Now I’ve always kind of had a theory that maybe lesbian couples cancel each other out and that it actually works in their favor. Like when you’ve got variables on either side of the equation and they just cross each other out. Instead of double the hormones and PMS and all that shit, they somehow magically end up with none of it because they just know when to avoid each other and shit. But a lesbian THROUPLE? Now that just fundamentally cannot work. The amount of chick jealousy and insecurity thats going on in that goddam circus of a household has gotta be through the ROOF. I dont care what they say about breadwinning, cooking, and cleaning, there is absolutely no way for three chicks to coexist without some level of perpetual drama existing. Its psychologically and sociologically impossible. Too much pussy to eat, too much crazy to handle.