Does This Look Like A Super Dangerous Fugitive Who The FBI Lured Out Of Hiding By Offering Him Hamburgers And Gatorade?

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Tampa- Winters, soggy-shoed and hungry, waited with a daughter in a car outside the FBI field office on Gray Street in Tampa on Wednesday morning as his attorneys stepped up to a reception desk and arranged his surrender. In trade, he got cheeseburgers, fries, Gatorade, dry shoes, praise from the FBI and a morning free of gunfire — all this from the agency that had spent months chronicling his antigovernment rhetoric and spying on his preparations for an imminent “last stand” with law enforcement. “We’re glad to report that Mr. Winters did the right thing,” said FBI spokesman David Couvertier. “We were hoping for a peaceful resolution, and today we got that.” Winters invoked his right to remain silent and was moved to the federal courthouse in downtown Tampa for a first appearance before Magistrate Judge Thomas Wilson.

What a letdown.  This guy is on the run for being one of those doomsday preppers and making his own badass weapons without a permit and he goes out like this.  For a couple of quarter pounders and a lemon lime Gatorade because he forget to pack lunch when he decided to go on the lam.  Isn’t being prepared what doomsday preppers are all about?  It’s in the fucking name.  Their main goal is to be prepared for just about anything.  Stacking canned goods as tall as Yao Ming and having enough food to last them until the year 3000.  Pack a sandwich you moron.  The FBI were prepping for this massive summer blockbuster movie showdown with big guns.  They called it the “imminent showdown” in their briefing.  Super sick title by the way.  But then this SUPER dangerous fugitive goes out which a whimper because he had stomach pains from hunger.  Clean it up big buy.  I’m not saying I wanted to see a massive shoot out where people would potentially get hurt but talk about a lame ending.  This would’ve been like in The Dark Knight if The Joker had just given himself up after robbing the mob bank at the beginning.  The ultimate set up followed by the ultimate letdown.  Fucking Florida.

PS- If we’re being honest, I’d give myself up for hamburgers and Gatorade any day of the week.  How great does that sound?  That’s a great meal.