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$33,500 Per Year Private School For 2 Year Old Babies Opens In Gramercy

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GRAMERCYA private school for babies is opening this fall in Gramercy. Explore + Discover, an eight-classroom learning center for children from 3 months to 2 years old, will launch Sept. 8 with an outdoor play space, said Renee Bock, the chief academic officer at the school’s managing company, K3 Learning. “It’s a play-based program that emphasizes all that children can do,” Bock said. “From birth, children are incredibly confident and creative. It’s up to us as teachers to create an environment where they can thrive.” Tuition will be $2,791 per month for children who attend five days week, which covers teachers who all have a master’s degree in early childhood education. The teachers, many of whom will also have musical training, will provide basic care, such as feeding and diapering, along with challenging kids to explore the world. “There isn’t anything out there that focuses on babies,” said Michael Koffler, who owns K3Learning, which also manages Sunshine Developmental Schools, which serves children with disabilities in all five boroughs, among other for-profit specialty schools. “We’re specializing in the world of babies.” Classes will range in size from eight to 12 kids, depending on the age group, and there will be three teachers in each class. Families that don’t want to send their kids full-time can pay $1,990 per month for three days a week or $1,399 for two days, according to the school’s website. “We take the kids seriously — that’s what’s unique about us,” Bock said.

Daily MailThe school day starts at 8am and finishes at 6pm with the schedule including ‘morning explorations’, ‘music sessions’, ‘story time’, ‘outdoor play’, ‘napping’ and the ‘development of self-feeding skills.

You know why there isn’t “any schools or teachers out there that focus on babies?” Because babies are fucking stupid. They’re dumb. They’re nothing but little blobs of fat that cant learn shit when they’re 2 years old. Put a baby in a room with Stephen Hawking and Warren Buffet and a bunch of other geniuses all day and you know what that baby will do when he comes out of there? He’ll shit in his pants and stick a fucking crayon up his nose. Because he’s a goddam baby. You can pay some chick 10 bucks an hour to babysit your kid and read them a couple books and teach them the alphabet and then blow her boyfriend when they are napping and you’re not home yet and save yourself like, oh, I dunno, 30 grand a year. You don’t need some baby professor to teach a kid how to roll around in the grass or fall asleep at 2pm.

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Bottom line is if you send your 2 year old to a school that costs as much as some private universities I guarantee that kid ends up worse off than a normal child who just had a baby sitter or stayed at home with grandma or mom or went to some normal day care. You turn your kid into some Ivy League cake eater when he’s still pissing in his Huggies and he’s got NO chance at ever being a likable kid when he grows up.