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GLAZERBOMB: The Dallas Cowboys Have Reportedly Hired Mike McCarthy As Their Next Head Coach

Talk about moving quickly! The Dallas Cowboys JUST fired Jason Garrett less than 24 hours ago, yet somehow hired his replacement before lunch the next day. I guess interviewing those replacements while Garrett was still coach and maybe getting those replacements waters like a good cuck could have played a role in that.

But when Jerruh sees something he wants, he will stop at NOTHING to get it, especially if he invites the coach over for a sleepover and tickle fights. Wait, what?!?

And Jerruh clearly wanted to move on from a coach that never seemingly got enough out of the talent he had on his roster with a coach that...you know what? Lets just let Cowboys fans enjoy that exciting feeling that comes with a new coach before we pick apart Mike McCarthy. But I imagine this is what fans of the other 3 NFC East teams look like right now.

I know some Giants fans wanted McCarthy since he does have a Super Bowl ring and helped develop one of the greatest quarterbacks we have ever seen. However, I imagine Dave Gettleman wasn't keen on hiring more than the four computer folks he just added to the payroll to help power McCarthy's newfound love of analytics and there may be a bigger fish coming to the swamps on New Jersey anyway...

(Let me live out this fantasy one last time before the dream dies for good later this week)

P.S. I'm a Rapsheet guy for life because he's done some stuff with Barstool (including getting fired by Portnoy despite not actually working for us) and have nothing but respect for the grind that Adam Schefter is on 24/7 to the point his bladder may turn into a pissbomb and explode at any given moment. But I love Jay Glazer casually dropping scoopage alerts on the boys and flexing those insider muscles on the biggest stories in the NFL whenever he wants to.