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(With Correction): Patrick Cantlay Knows The Locals Love The Wind Because The Pro Golfer “Pampered Fucks” Never Get It


I’m at the bar and saw this clip and thought he was talking about other Tour pros. Thought he said “waiting 4 years for this” which would be about the time he’s been out there but sounds like he actually said “40 years.” Apparently he’s referencing Rolfing in the booth and other locals. Those folks want the “pampered fuck” pro golfers to see the real wind. The real conditions. Now they are. Credit to me correcting and admitting and also that changes nothing. The point of all of this is it makes Patrick Cantlay seem way more real and cool than he previously seemed. Two more holes and we get some Mai Tais. Also this may be the quickest a post has been corrected in the history of publishing. Amazing really.


Huge night for Patrick Cantlay. Hand up, I’d often called him one of the most boring players in golf. Vanilla pudding. Wallpaper. But he showed some signs of life at the Presidents Cup and here he is in Maui blessing the wind because it exposes the other pampered fucks on Tour. I love it. Inject it into my veins. Pour it into a strong but still kinda fruity shot glass. That’s how I like it. Please and thank you.

Patrick Cantlay is sneaky the 7th ranked player in the world. I picked him this year to win the U.S. Open at Winged Foot because he drives it long and straight like a machine. You’re welcome for that one.

Anywho, they need to mic up Cantlay ASAP because this kind of raw, unfiltered analysis is just too good to miss. Never thought I’d say this, but more Cantlay please.