Mayor de Blasio Was VERY Upset That Domino's Charged People In Times Square $30 A Pie On New Years Eve

In this time of political strife, it's always nice to hear Mayor de Blasio speak up so everyone on the left, right, and middle can tell him to shut the fuck up. It's reached the point where he couldn't even give away baseball tickets without it becoming a punchline. 

If a business wants to double the price of pizza for the idiots that willingly pack themselves standing dick-to-ass outside in the most overcrowded place in this overcrowded city for hours just to watch a ball drop in the middle of the night, I support that business wholeheartedly. In fact, I encourage it. 

This city, let alone this country and the economic system that powers it, was founded on charging people whatever you can get away with. That's why people pay thousands of dollars to live in a shoebox and will shell out $10 for a beer at a bar without calling 911 to report a robbery. Which is why I say if someone wants to pay $30 for some Domino's, Domino's should charge $30 but only if they are sure the person won't pay $35 first. It's not like Domino's was charging $30 for water to people that were stranded in the middle of nowhere and about to die of thirst.

They were charging people $30 for pizza in the middle of a place packed to the gills with money and food vendors. Shit, I'd pay $30 right now for Dominio's to deliver one (1) order of Cheesy Bread directly to my desk if they offered and I live in an easy-to-find house in the burbs that sits on an 1.5 acres of property (nbd), not nestled snugly in between 1.5 million other hungry/drunk/crazy people. Giving one business shit for expensive prices in a city that is literally known for expensive prices is the highest form of hypocrisy there is.

Then again, I wasn't in Times Square the other night because I have kids and a brain, even though my brain is kinda shitty and didn't stop me from having kids. Maybe the conditions were worse than I can imagine and it was everybody's personal Fyre Fest. Lets see what the people in that Post article had to say.

“He is our Santa,” said Amit Zanwar, 31, from New Jersey, who was with two friends for the spectacular and didn’t pack any food. “He came a little late [for Christmas], but we were happy.”

“It’s absolutely worth it. It was hot. It seems like it just came out of the oven,” he added. “If he comes back, I will buy some more.”

Okay, so that's just one extremely satisfied customer and I've read enough Amazon reviews to know that one happy person does not make a consensus. Lets see who else was quoted in that article de Blasio tweeted.

The traveling salesman repeatedly sold out of fresh pies before running back to the nearby Domino’s for more stock. “He probably sold about seven pizzas in less than two minutes,” said Francisco Patalano, who was in town for the first time from Fort Polk in Louisiana. He also laid down $30 for the pie but said, “It was totally worth it.”

“That was awesome,” said his wife Maria Patalano. “We were getting hungry. We’ve been here since 12 p.m.” “More people should do it,” Francisco added.

So pretty much everyone in the article was actually thankful that $30 pizza was available and didn't mind paying the extra money because they realize that comes with the territory of being jam packed in the middle of New York fucking City?

As for the local pizzerias dig, I'm not sure if they were banned from delivering pizzas or just didn't realize you could do what this Domino's has been doing for FIFTEEN years (as a locally owned franchise by the way).

Banik was running the pizzas for the Domino’s franchise on 40th St. and 7th Ave., which has been doing this on New Year’s Eve for 15 years. 

But if those local pizzerias haven't figured out that there may be a shitload of hungry people ready to pay whatever is necessary to get fed as they wait in the same spot for hours, those pizzerias will probably be out of business by 2021 anyway. Plus anybody who eats pizza like this immediately is banned for giving takes on any sort of pizza again.

TL;DR - Shut the fuck up, de Blasio.


P.S. I have been thinking about nothing but Cheesy Bread ever since those two glorious words left my fingers for the keyboard and am thinking about selling my first second born for an order right now.